Let’s get a little too honest.

517 days on the road.
41 states. 21 national parks.
3 cars (one stolen, one blew up).

More money spent on beer than gas.
A pop-up camper that had no business making it as far as it did.
Fueled mostly by freeze-dried meals and whatever was left in the cooler.

I’ve squared off with grizzly bears, California gas prices, and retired Floridians playing aggressive pickleball.

Did 99 miles through gator-infested water in the Everglades.
No GPS. No signal.
No idea mosquitoes clock in for their night shift the second the sun goes down.

Which means you either wear a full head-to-toe bug suit…
or you go in your tent early.

Word of advice: buy the bug suit.

There was the time my car got stolen in California.
San Ysidro. Walking distance from the Mexican border.

Woke up to shattered glass exactly where the car used to be.

So now I’ve got no car.
No gear.
No food.
No plan.

I’m on the phone with the police, standing in the crime scene, trying to figure out what just happened—

and my phone dings.

It’s an email from the National Park Service.

I got Half Dome permits in Yosemite.
There’s like a ~18% chance of that happening.

So… car stolen, no gear, but I’m going to Yosemite.

Couldn’t tell if things were going terribly or perfectly.

Have you ever eaten canned chicken for 12 days straight?

Day 6: bad.
Day 9: you start lying to yourself.
Day 12: honestly… not terrible.

One time I sprayed bear spray.

Realized a second too late it was pointed at me, not the bear.
The wind helped.

Still ended the hike though.

But sometimes a bad turn turns into something better.

You reroute, end up off trail, and suddenly there’s a hidden hot spring.

Bald eagles overhead.
Moose by the river.
Nobody else.

And for some reason you have trail beers in your bag.

Nothing like drinking a Moosehead Lager while looking at actual moose.

The whole thing was like that.

Small moments of “how is this even real”
mixed with long stretches of road, gas stations, and figuring it out as you go.

And a lot of campfire smoke.
And a lot of stories.